Creating Connection to Self When Life is Busy as Sh*t

Written by Amber Swenor

As Soul Seed Strategy's founder and Brand Strategist, Amber works with clients to evaluate their brand, understand their goals, and develop a strategy that will deliver the results they seek.

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February 27, 2020

Consistency is something I’ve struggled with most of my life …

It’s not a lack of motivation or a lack of consistently moving forward on goals or even a lack of running a tight-ship on my schedule. What I’m getting at is the type of innate way of being as a creative that struggles with doing certain things in a very consistent way, at the same time, to a set interval in the same manner and pattern. It has often felt rigid or contrived, unnatural, like moving against the current, rather than going in flow. And also, sometimes, life is just really full and it can be challenging to create the space to get into creative flow.

Regardless of whether you are a creative or not, if you desire to walk a more purposeful journey, to live more freely and joyfully, an important component to that journey is allowing the space for connection with self to understand what your purpose is, and what brings you joy.

My experience creating consistency as a creative, is the equivalent of creating space to become more connected to self when your life is already busy as shit.

There are definitely some areas where the necessity for consistency has overruled my innate nature to resist it, for example, leading a growing team requires consistency in team meetings to preserve everyone’s schedules and sanity. Or in comparison: your life is busy as shit, but if you don’t want to burn out, it’s pretty necessary to create space to connect with yourself.

I recognize the benefits of creative flow, and I also recognize the benefits to creating consistency.

I’m not saying that “go with the flow and just be all the time,” is the solution. How this has shown up as problems for clients is that when they “go with the flow,” before they know it, they might have eight different business ventures going on, none of which are making money and it’s overwhelming, floundering all over the place.

How this might show up in your life is if you’ve ever taken time to explore your own development and your purpose, it can feel like cracking open a bunch of eggs all over the place, but none of them are cooked all the way. It can be exhausting, you can feel exposed.

And on the reverse of that someone can live their life in a routine and structured manner, and over time, begins to wonder how their life became mundane, what’s my purpose? Who am I and what do I truly desire, anyway?

What I’ve been curious about, is a way to strike a healthy middle ground…. To create space for creative flow, while also creating consistency, you can check out all the details in that in my latest blog post if you’re interested in fostering greater creative flow.

I’m going to share a few things I learned, as these same strategies may work in your life for helping you create greater space for personal growth, among a busy life.

Here are 3 ways to Consistently allow in more Self-Awareness (among a life that is busy as shit).

1: Pay attention to how you feel in micro-moments. You don’t need to lock the kids out of the room and sit down in meditation; you can do this at any point in the day. Think of them as micro check-ins. Grab a journal and micro-check in with yourself daily for a few weeks… a few keywords, how are you feeling?

Note where there is resistance showing up in your life.
What makes your heart full and absolutely joyful?
What could you talk about all day?
What could you dream about all day?
What could you spend your time doing all day if you didn’t have 50 other things to do?

2: Become more consistently aware of your actions and which actions are healthy and make you feel good, and which actions are negative and draining.

Are you raising your voice with children or a loved one?
Have a shorter fuse in certain situations?
Feeling your emotions going to level 10?
Ask yourself: where is this coming from? Add it to the journal.

You may start to notice if a pattern, habit, job or relationship in your life needs to change to lessen the yelling, frustration, or stop the energy drain.

Evaluate, is the anxiety self-imposed?

Here’s an example of my journey coming to awareness with some self-imposed anxiety:

over the years when I have conversations with my beloved mother about how she handles her business, I would feel anxiety would go from 1 to 10 in a matter of minutes as I felt frustration about my mother charging what I perceived to be, “too little,” for her services. I worried about her financial future and if she’d be “ok someday.” I want the best for her, I want her to charge what she’s worth, and I want her to have money for retirement.

However, over the years, I came to a few realizations:

Worrying brings no positive result: None of us know what life will bring, and worrying is a waste of energy. Worrying brings no positive result, so why waste time worrying?

Just because we believe something doesn’t mean others have to: My mother’s path is hers to walk, as mine is mine. It is not our role to impose “help” onto others. They may not need help, and that could simply be a projection of our views onto them.

People choose change for themselves: If someone is not ready for change, and has not asked for help, they are not going to change.

So as you become aware of your actions, it may also require changing them.

3: Commit to time and space “away.” Sometimes it’s necessary to “get away from it all,” to “work on it all.” This might mean a day or weekend trip with friends to fill your emotional cup. This could mean a weekly call with a therapist, a fitness class, or a few days away for a personal development retreat. And if you’re saying, “Ok, great, but my life is busy as shit,” I encourage you to ask yourself if there is truly any reason that you can’t take an hour, two or three a week for a fitness class, creative time, or meditation? Or, 2-3 days away for a personal retreat. In 8760 hours in a year, is there a reason that you can’t take .8% of a year to invest in living a more purposeful, aligned life? Less than 1% of the entire year, to help you create much more meaning in the other 362 days of that year.

Personal development is a lifelong learning journey, and sometimes in a period of personal transformation, it requires more space and energy. If you are feeling the call to explore your purpose and become more intentional about how you’re living your life, I encourage you to carve some space. Even in micro-moments. Even if your life is busy as shit. Because you’re worth it.